NEED

Toys need to be played with...they need to be controlled...they need to be disciplined...they need to be trained...they need to serve...they need to obey...

they need to know when they have been good...they need to know when they have been bad...they need to be encouraged...they need to give up responsibility...

they need to worship...they need to feel safe..they need to trust...they need honesty...

It takes the need of the dominant woman to be enough to call herself a Mistress. It takes the need of the dominant woman to take total control in all aspects of the submissive s life. It takes the need of the dominant woman to recognize bad behavior and discipline to correct it. It takes the need of the dominant woman to train her toy to the perfection she needs to be proud of. It takes the need of the dominant woman to teach and enjoy proper service as she deserves. It takes the need of the dominant woman to recognize and encourage growth in the toy she owns. She needs the responsibility to protect and direct the life of her submissive.

She needs to be an honest woman of integrity so that she deserves to be worshiped and trusted. She needs to control their sexuality as much as she needs the outlet her whips and bondage equipment give her in play.

Yes it is an awesome task to meet all the needs of the submissive. But OMG it is worth the effort for all you give us in return. We are the mirrors that reflects the dark side of each other. That allows the light to cast the shadows of our uniqueness.

Dominants and submissives are everywhere but many often have no outlet to be heard. You will recognize them by the respect they show to others in the small ways.

If you have been on the journey of discovery for a long time you may be finding that today your voice is full of thought and introspection with not a word wasted nor any doubt in their presentation. You have watched and grown, asked questions and weighed the responses to find what made sense to you. Such is the way on the BDSM journey each will seek what they need and find it where it is.

If you search for a single word to live by "Integrity" just may be the most valuable word of all! Reality begs all to look through glasses that are not rose tinted but crystal clear to allow each to find the path that suits their needs.

Once the submissive truly understands that the dominant is not looking at their needs or kinks with judgment but with acceptance and delight the embarrassment seems to filter unnoticed into the recesses of yesterday. When they have tasted encouragement and felt approval they become braver and less self judgemental as well.

One mistake many submissives make in my opinion is that they do not open up the possibility of learning from a Dom that is the same sex as themselves unless they are bi or gay. Dominants have words of value to share with either sex submissive. Learning should never be stymied due to the misconception that the Dom or Domme you are seeking is the only one that has the knowledge that will help you on your journey. This same mistake is often made by dominants who do not see the lessons that can be learnt from the lips of a submissive of the sex they are not seeking to dominate.

I have learned that the desire for knowledge never ends and that even the doubtful are brave enough to believe.